Sunday 24 August 2008

words of encouragment

This passage of scripture was a huge encouragement to me tonight, so I thought I'd share it.

"Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other, let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if we don't feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. And we will receive from him whatever we ask because we obey him and do the things that please him."
1 John 3:18-22

I have been learning a lot about my feelings, and being able to recognize lies and truth about myself. It is so reassuring to hear that God is so much greater than our feelings, and that we are not guilty in His sight! Hmmm.... good word!

Travels....

Hey! So, I am not neglecting my blog, but am visiting with my wonderful older sister, Cassie. Unfortunately, I forgot the right cord to my camera and cannot upload my pictures yet (we also tried her memory card transfer cord too).
So, for now you'll have to wait until next week before I upload more pictures and stories of my time here! It has been a blast; we've had a lot of fun, shared some great laughs, shed some tears, ate Red Robin (being that she works there, I've spent much time there too!), and enjoyed the bond of sisterhood!

I love you, Cass!

Saturday 16 August 2008

Thoughts....

Where to begin? What to say? My life has been a whirlwind these last few weeks, trying to figure out what God really wants for me and what decisions he wants me to make. What truly is God's will for me at this time?
I've thought things were God's will, and thought that I was making the right decisions, but with more prayer and the wisdom of those who love me, I have realized that I haven't honestly been seeking what is the best for me. Not to say that my decisions have been bad, but at times they have been not been the very best that God has for me. It's been humbling to actually listen to what others have to say, and not just hear them. Taking into consideration the love and concern that has been shared with me has not always been easy, but I think that it will definitely be rewarding in the end.
I'm beginning to find myself, amidst the numerous masks that I have put on over the years. It's not easy to try to find yourself, especially when you aren't sure what you look like. I have to figure out what to strip away, what to hang on to, and how to become whole once again in my identity in Christ. I have started by identifying and declaring the truth of what God says about me. On my walls I have posted the "I Am's" that are true of me. I am not the I AM, but by the grace of God I am who I am. And I am on a new journey in discovering who that fully is, and how to make it fully alive in Christ!
Embark with me on this journey, please. I need help, and am now finally willing to humble myself and ask for it. I can't do it on my own. I need help. I give you permission to use the Bible as it is indented to teach, rebuke, correct, and train me in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16).

Monday 4 August 2008

Another Look at the Will of God

One of the most widely discussed topics among Christians and in churches is probably God's will and trying to define that. Many people, myself included, have asked questions like: "what is God's will for my life?" and "how can I find God's best?"

This has definitely been one of the most prominent questions and thoughts for me this last year. For about two months (January and February) I wrestled with God about my future. I knew he wanted me to complete my degree at the community college, but my heart was restless in trying to figure out what He had for me after that. Finally, after praying and thinking and more praying, I felt like God was clearly leading me to pursue Youth With A Mission (YWAM). After bringing me ease in that area, I still had to decide which base to go to and when. There was one school in Australia that really peeked my interest that began in June, a few in California that brought some interest, but I still was not at peace with a location. In April (as my previous posts have stated), I went to Herrnhut, Germany for a short-term mission trip and was given clear direction to return there in October. This thrilled me! I felt so at peace with where God was calling me, though I had never even considered Germany as an option.

You're probably wondering why I am again reiterating the fact that God has called me to Germany when I have stated so in other posts. But, ya know, the thing about God is that He is sometimes very mysterious and works in unexpected ways. Back in June, I quite my job and was going to move to Oregon to live with my big sister, but unfortunately due to a lack of housing situation was not able to move. This left me jobless and homeless. I found housing with some friends, and began praying about where God wanted me to work, and whether or not He wanted me to move somewhere. A few days passed and my friend, Stephanie invited me to come live with her in Kirkland and work with her at a Christian camp. I was so excited and began planning yet another move. A few more days passed and I got an e-mail from one of the directors at the camp saying that they no longer had full-time summer positions. I was bummed. It looked like I wouldn't be moving after all. July rolled around and my mom suggested I look into working at the family camp in Oregon that they were going to at the end of July. I called the camp director and talked to a friend on Facebook (who was working there) and it looked like I would be able to go and work for the summer. But, due to more circumstances and unclear communication I called the camp director's wife to confirm the job opportunity, two days before my family was leaving. Once again the opportunity fell through and I was not able to go. Each time plans fell through to move I figured that God must have something in mind to keep me here. I didn't know if it was someone I was supposed to meet, service that I was supposed to give, prayer that I was supposed to receive or what, but I knew God must want me to stay here because the doors to leave kept being shut. After receiving prayer from Katie I thought that that was for sure one of the reasons I was supposed to stay here. God brought so much healing and freedom through that and I would have missed it if I had moved away. I also would have missed out on an incredible friendship that has developed and grown so quickly in the last month. After praying for Jesse at family night one night we started talking and haven't stopped. :) Our friendship has grown so quickly and so strong and we indent to be friends for life! Each of us has made mistakes in our pasts, but we look beyond that and focus on all the awesome things that God is doing in our lives right now, and how He has been so faithful to each of us and bringing us to each other.
Sometimes the will of God isn't spelled out for us, and we have to make decisions based on God's moral will (the Bible) and wisdom. Because God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his promises in Christ Jesus, he can take our decisions - the wise and the foolish- and make something beautiful out of them. He certainly has done that with Jesse and I. Though others might be skeptical of our relationship and the speed at which it was reached, we base it on the promises and love of God that transcends all bounds. We know that God has brought us to each other for a reason and are standing on the foundation of God's truth. While praying last night God told me to look up Isaiah 51:7. I didn't even know if this was a verse, but thought "okay God, what do you want to tell me?" and opened my Bible to a divine revelation. It read, "Listen to me you who know right from wrong, you who cherish my law in your heart. Do not be afraid of people's scorn, nor fear their insults." This gave me so much peace about my relationship with Jesse, because we had been dealing with what other people thought of our relationship and how they would react to us. It put me at such a peace to know that the Lord is behind us, and all the doors that could have led me away were closed in order for me to be here and enjoy this fellowship with God and friends.
I am reading a great book right now that was given to me by my brother that explores decision making and God's will. It has been so helpful in clarifying how God's will is broken up and how to make wise decision that correspond with His will. It's an interesting thing to try to pinpoint, but I don't think that's what we should try to do. We are called to walk in obedience to God's moral will and make decisions based on those principles, and I believe that it what I am doing. I would encourage each of you to search for God's will and honor him in your decision making. Also,the book I am reading is called "Decision Making and the Will of God" by Garry Friesen, and I would definitely recommend it!