Believing in Healing

So many times in my life I have seen the hand of God work in incredible ways to heal the people I love. Though I don't remember it, when my older sister was little God healed her from a blood disease; numerous times I have witnessed God's healing power in the body of my mom - from thyroid cancer, a tumor in her throat, the fact that she had a 2% chance of every having children, and now having 13 children!!! Again and again I have seen miraculous healings!

When my little brother was 3 years old, he become ill with Bacterial Meningitis and spent three and a half weeks in the hospital two hours away from home. As Elijah was on the verge of death, we sent for our oldest brother in Iraq. Finally, after complete kidney failure, being on 8 heart and other organ medications and being in a drug induced coma, Elijah was released from God's hands in Heaven and came back to his family! Despite the incredible odds of possible brain damage, amputations, and skin graphs, he is completely healed and has not undergone any of these effects.

For the last ten years I have dealt with pain and mocking of a deformed ribcage. When I was about 8 years old, I went to my mom concerned about a heat rash on my chest, what she was concerned about was the odd bone sticking out of my chest. I had not noticed it up until this point. Upon going to the doctor, we found out that I had what doctors call a "pigeon chest", a protruding bone deformity that effects the sternum. I have gone to specialist and doctors, had x-rays, a CT scan, and numerous check-ups, but with no solution on how to fix this deformity that causes anything from minor to excruciating pain. I have dealt with this sporadic pain time and time again, waiting and wanting God to heal me!
Finally last Christmas while visiting my sister in another state, the Pastor was closing the service with prayer and asked if anyone wanted prayer for healing, and if so to raise their hand. I raised my hand, sensing God's permission to do so. Like I have never felt before I sensed a hand on my ribcage and heard God whisper to me "In due time you will be healed". I couldn't believe it that was the second time God had spoken to me that weekend! Wow... I wanted to know when and how He was going to heal me, but I rested in His words of peace and assurance.

I didn't know it, but over time my beliefs changed slightly in regards to God's healing. I continued to believe that He could heal me, but had lost my belief that He wanted to heal me. I had experienced a great amount of pain while in the Czech Republic, and recognized it as spiritual attack through physical means. About two weeks ago, a group of friends and I were worshiping together when I began to feel strong chest pains. I sat on the floor, hand to my chest, trying to bear the pain. It got worse and tears began to stream down my cheeks. My friends, Selina and Simon, came around me, laid hands on me, and prayed for God's healing power to consume me and take away this pain.
As we were leaving, I realized that my shift in beliefs. I hadn't lost faith that God could heal me, I just wasn't sure anymore that He would.
A few days after that, a little over a week ago, we were having an all-nighter of fellowship, prayer, and worship. My friend Ashlie brought up that we should pray over everyone that needed healing. I had just told everyone about what God had been teaching me about expecting Him to work, not just believing that He is able to. So, we got together everyone who needed healing, which ended up to be about 8 people, and gathered around them to pray. We prayed for Ashlie's diabetes, Sarah's arthritis, Sally's neck/back problems, Matt's potentially life-threatening disease, my bone deformity, and others.

Afterward, I finally rested in peace that not only could God heal me, but that He wanted to and would! For the past 9 days, I have experienced pain free living. Though my bones have not been reformed to their natural design, I have not experienced chest pain and am resting in God's promise of healing! It may not be here on this earth, but He has promised me a new body in Heaven!

Going, Moving, Doing....

Over and over again I have been indecisive in where I think God wants me. Previously I thought I was supposed to move South to live with my older sister, then I thought I should stay here and not move at all, and now I feel at peace about moving a couple hours away to live with my friend in the city.
Sometimes in life we don't understand things and what happens to us. I know this is true for me, I have these expectations sometimes that are off base from what God wants from me. He wants me trust him; He wants me to go and move and do what He wants for me.

It's been hard at times to relinquish all to Him. Sometimes my selfishness gets in the way of what God wants to do through me, and I find that when I do that I am not blessed in the way that God wants to bless me. My foolish, selfish desires can get in the way and then I don't see the amazing fruit that God wants to reap in my life!

But, now I hope that in this move I will see God's faithfulness to me - even in my faithlessness - of who He is and and how much He loves me and wants the Best for my life!

I want to go, and move, and do... whatever it is that the LORD wants for me!

Trust

So, these last few days have been a time of trial and trust. Due to various circumstances, I am currently jobless and homeless. This has taught me so much about trust! I have had to rely on the Lord to provide for my needs. The Bible says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I have been learning to trust God for everything, and I know He will provide.

A Passion for Prayer

When I was 12 years old, God began growing in me a passion for prayer and intercession. I remember being on my first mission trip in Los Angeles, California, and going for a prayer tour of the city on one of the nights we were there. I remember being at on obseratory up on a hill, and looking over the city in prayer! It was an incredible experience and God has continued to work in my heart a passion for intercession.
While in Cheb, Czech Republic, my eyes were opened to a greater experience of God and walking in prayer with Him. Our team decided to bring home what we had learned there, and every Monday night started prayer walks around our very "religious" but lost town. That same first week that I was back, my pastor gave us a challenge at Dream School to listen to the Holy Spirit and write down what He spoke to us. Three days into that week, I was waiting for the bus when I noticed a man (the town drunk) walking in the cemetary. Since being back from Europe God had changed my heart toward him and I began to feel sorrow for him. As I sat on the bench to wait for the bus, the Lord stirred in my heart to pray for Scott (the drunk man). After only a few second of prayer, the Holy Spirit told meto go to him and ask him if I could pray for him. I tried to reason with Him and rationalized that I was praying for him, why should I ask him? But, I knew I needed to obey the Holy Spirit and, shaking, got up from the bench and walked to the fence where Scott was on the other side. I called to him to come over to me, "Hey, can I talk to you?" He staggered over and asked me (very incoherently) what I wanted. I then asked him if I could pray for him. He fumbled his words, but managed to get out "sure, but I am still going to drink." I said "ok, I just wanted to make sure I could pray for you. What's your name?" He told his name was Scott and stretched out his hand, guesturing to ask mine. I told him. He began to walk away, mumbling more incoherent thoughts under his breath. He was obvisouly intoxicated. God had broken my heart for this man, someone's son, God's child. I prayed for him as I walked back to the bench. Since then, I have talked to him on a couple other occasions; on one occasion he remembered my prayers and put his hands together to symbolize prayer.

Though I have been discouraged at times because of the lack of people showing up to walk in prayer with us, the last few weeks, I know that God's Spirit is moving and that His plan is far beyond what I could imagine. This morning at my church's Tuesday morning prayer meeting, I heard from another woman that she and her daughter had been walking around Lynden in prayer. This lightened my heart and encouraged my so much! God had stirred in someone else's heart a passion for prayer over our "religious" little town! Praise the LORD! He is so faithful!

Many prayers and blessings in Christ Jesus,
Lindsey <><