Sometimes I have a tendency to overspiritualize things and life situations. In my desire to be confident in what I'm doing, I sometimes say that it's the will of God for my life (rightly or wrongly so). But, I'm growing and learning, and seeing that whether it's the Lord, or just the circumstances of life, we are presented with various situations, opportunities, etc in which we have to make a decision. Sometimes we say, "it's a window of opportunity", at other times we refer to it saying, "God opened this door for me".
Well, in these terms, another door has closed. The finances have not come in for me to go to Montana. I do not regret pursuing this opportunity, and have seen how God used it to stretch my faith, and work on other areas of my life. I have peace about staying here, and will continue to be apart of the worship team at my church, (although I'll be moving to another campus).
God has provided a great living situation with a family, who has graciously agreed to let me stay with them rent free, in exchange for about 10 hrs/week helping with their two young sons, as well as some light housework. It is such a blessing, and although they aren't Jesus-lovers, I am excited to see how Him in me will touch their lives. The home is close to the public transit lines as well, so it won't be too difficult for me to get around (in my lack of a driver's license!).
I am hoping for a full-time job soon, and have a couple hopeful opportunities (still praying!).
I heard recently something that brought a lot of encouragement to me; the pastor said that there are times when he tries to fit the right "piece of the puzzle" into his life, but it just doesn't quite line up. He explained how God sees the whole picture, and though we might see bits and pieces, and we might know our giftings and "calling", we don't always see the "box cover". I found this encouraging in that, even though I know that God has placed a passion for music in me, and a heart for the nations, I don't see the big picture. I don't see the completed puzzle. God does. And, He will reveal each "piece" in the right time. It's amazing to see this already in my life.
Was I disappointed to not go to Montana? Yes. Was I depressed? No. Because I know God has a plan. And, I figure if it's better than going to a school of worship, well then, it's got to be pretty great indeed! :)
For everything there is a season; a time for everything under Heaven.
Fall is my favorite season. It's a season of change; a season of new things. It's a time for a shaking off of the old, and letting the new take its place. And I'm finding the same is true in this season of my life. I'm excited to see the beauty that comes from this season, and the new life that "spring" will behold.
Hoping, Trusting, Dreaming...